A San Diego Wedding

My friend, sisterwife, sister (ADPi!), a million other things got engage to her lobster and asked me to stand by her side on her wedding day (one of life's most amazing privileges). Her wedding took place on a stunning April in San Diego at the Scripps Seaside Forum and while the weather was stunning, the bride and her groom were a vision.

I shed more than a few tears through the weekend and was so crazy happy for both of them as they started this new chapter of their lives. Abiding by my philosophy that a photographer is hired for a reason on a wedding day, I didn't take too many of my own photos because I want to be emotionally present to soak up all of the love and wonderfulness of the day, but I did capture a few wonderful moments.

We stayed at Hotel La Jolla  and getting to do my half day of work from our balcony was bliss. This clouds were a bit unsettling early in the day, but we all knew it was going to turn out to be a stunning day. 

This stunning view from her reception site was too much to handle. My jaw dropped at the stunning background. 

Getting ready was so much fun! It was relaxed, well organized and was wonderful to get to spend time with the bride before her life changed forever. There were some really sweet touching moments, and I almost cried off all of my makeup when she put on her dress and her sister was helping her. And watching her read the card from her soon-to-be-husband was so touching, and I couldn't help but sniffle a bit as I watched her face read the words her groom had written. 

The blue skies showed up for the wedding as we had all crossed our fingers for, and went the moment came, we were all so excited for her and Eric. 

A funny story included in this:My isle partner was a guy that I knew back from Junior High and High School in Boise. While that is just a small world, to really add to it- he had been a MAJOR crush of mine and so I couldn't help but laugh as I "got to walk down the isle with Ross"! AND, you think I'm done, but I'm not. My first boyfriend, my first KISS, was also at this wedding (not Ross), whom I hadn't seen in almost 10 years- which was a trip. Trying coming outside to find your current boyfriend talking to your first boyfriend/fist kiss. I am still laughing about it. 

The reception and dancing were a blast, and there was a photo booth that captured some really hilarious moments with some of my favorite people and sisters from college. 

All of my humorous moments aside- this day was so special. Sara has been one of the people that had made me understand the true, deep, never-ending meaning of friendship. While we are bonded by our sorority ties and oaths- the relationship I have with her enriches my life beyond descriptive words. Being asked to be a part of her and Eric's wedding was an honor and as I stood and watched them exchange vows and rings, my heart burst with love as am I so incredibly happy she has found someone to share her life with. It was a stunning wedding for a stunning couple who radiate love for each other. And while this is a belated post- Congratulations Sara & Eric!

Getting back to Getting Crafty

I've been in a creative wasteland for...weeks...Months....YEARS! Ok.ok.ok. not years, but it feels like it. When you hate where you live, you tend to not do a lot of things. Which is funny...when I first moved to DC (and hated it even then!) I threw myself into crafts, blogging, cooking, baking, sewing, etc.. Just about anything to distract me from the fact that I hated my surroundings and the decision I had made to move across the country. Well...fast forward six miserable DC years...now I've just resorted to glasses of wine, TiVo and a puppy to distract myself from the awful aspects of my geographical location.

But, the streak had to break. I've been feeling off. Robbing a part of myself that is natural...and just me. So I conned a friend into going to a paint-your-own-pottery studio this weekend. Naturally, I picked the day where there were flash flood warnings and there was so much water pouring from the sky, it was virtually impossible to stay dry. Nonetheless, we had an amazing time and created some wonderful pieces.

I used to do this all the time growing up for birthday parties and "mommy and me time" back in the day, but I'd forgotten how relaxing and therapeutic it was to just paint, overthink colors and develop a crick in your neck from crouching over your masterpiece. It was lovely. It made me feel better. It made me realize how tired I am of sacrificing myself for some awful place. (If you haven't picked up on it...my days are number here in DC).

We spent the afternoon at Paint This! in Old Town; and it was perfect. It was cute, stocked with so many options of pottery pieces and colors I could have stayed for days. The prices were amazing...an entire afternoon of entertainment...less than $30!

We created some pretty amazing masterpieces if I do say so myself!

I was inspired by this and this for my bowls.

Ashley painstakingly did every single one of those polka dots on hers!

I'll definitely be back for some more craft therapy!

Flattery

I had a lunch/afternoon date with one of my nearest and dearest, Ashley, this weekend while our boys, men, boyfriends were gone for the weekend to celebrate Ashley's finance's bachelor party. We met up and it was pouring rain so we picked our brunch spot on where we could find parking close to a front door and the posted up at a table for 3.5 hours (we clearly had a TON to catch up on).

We rehashed the holiday season, the crazy new reality my family has going on, how men are idiots, work, how our lives could use assistants, and how we are really comfortable drinking by ourselves-- the typical girl brunch topics.

After occupying our table for a solid 3-4 hours, we finally decided to move and free up the table when we realized we were the only people and had outlasted the brunch AND lunch crowd.

Ashley left me alone for a few minutes to head to the restroom and I was left bundling up putting my coat and my scarf to have one of the waiter say "Please don't take this the wrong way, but you are really beautiful". I blushed way deeper than any shade of blush I had on. He was truly sincere about the comment and all I could muster was a "thank you".  While I was my typically uncomfortable-self; it was incredibly flattering.

Nicholas is a lucky dog... :)

10 Years an ADPi

A few weeks ago, I sat down at my desk/work and was checking my personal emails before getting my day started. Sitting in my inbox was an email congratulating me on being initiated into the Alpha Delta Pi sisterhood ten years ago. As it would happen, my parents were also here visiting me, and my parents and sister were the major reason I made the decision to "Go Greek" when I headed to the University of Washington for college.

I grew up hearing stories of my parents "days in the house", and shenanigans with their friends, many of which they are still in contact with today. My sister also has maintained ties with her sorority sisters, and I knew from example that sorority life and sisterhood will be four memorable years, followed by a lifetime of meaningful friendships.

My choice to join ADPi, has and will be one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life.

Never mind that I loved living in a true house and having a cook and house boys to move furniture. Or the fact that we had dances, socials, sisterhoods, and fun events just about every week. It wasn't about being President, or having my own room, or receiving that wooden gavel which still means a lot to me.

What I took from ADPi was the opportunity to reveal and discover myself, to share some of the most formidable years of my life with women who supported me as more than just friends, but individuals who believed in the same life philosophies and treatment of others. I didn't develop my confidence from holding leadership positions, or learning how to talk to boys at grab-a-dates, or participating in a beauty competition in front of the entire Greek community. It was through unconditional love, support and mutual respect with the 100+ women I called sisters during those four years. Particularly, the women in my pledge class, who have remained some of my closest and dearest friends that I know will be with my through the rest of my life.

I was a tad emotional when I saw that email about 10 years an ADPi.

I paused for moment and through some uncertain feelings about my life right now- I remembered how insanely fortunate I am for what my sorority experience has given to me.

Ten years and counting for belonging to the best sisterhood and knowing some of the best women I could have ever asked for in life!

A Relationship Like IKEA

Insight into our personality always comes at random times, a burst of introspective thought and you think "hmm, yes, I really am like that".

My latest revelation is that I don't like sharing special moments that I bonded with someone over. Which ties into my natural tendencies to keep my group of friends small, and that I am allllllll about loyalty (and trust) in relationships.

So back to being a non-sharer. I hate finding out that a particular behavior, phrase, facial expression, or joke is something that is shared between my person and another person in their life.

I feel cheated. I feel duped into thinking there was something special and unique to our relationship, only to find that instead of a one-of-a-kind relationship, we have a mass-produced-IKEA-expedit-bookcase esque type of relationship.

Sure it looks good, but it loses it's luster when you realize that IKEA has compromised your special bookcase, by selling it to hundreds of millions.

Call me jealous, or unreasonable, but whatever happened to protecting relationships?!? Or preserving some things just for a special person? I guess people are greedy and will mass produce something purely to be in every home...

 

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Hit 'em When They are Good and Low

I will not even to pretend to know hardly anything about relationships, friendships, any of that business because it is about as complex and personal as it gets, but I will say this... I do know what hurts me.

The sad part is I think it has become so routine, so quick for us to do this to each other, that it is considered being a good friend or good partner. We are all short on time, energy, and capacity to be upbeat and positive. I mean, we all have to do that for ourselves, so when it comes to others...there is a limited amount of energy there sometimes. I am the first to admit this happens to me all the time:

I am worn out, I am tired, I have my own ish going on, and then someone calls along and needs me. I listen, murmur a few 'uh huhs' and then because you really feel like you need to get back to your life, you drop the "hard loving truth on them"

Whether or not you intend to you've hit them in the gut when they are already gasping for air emotionally.

I am at fault. I will be the first to raise my hand and say "yup, I've done that to a friend/boyfriend/family member/coworker/etc".  Sometimes you just can't handle someone else's ish right then. It is too much. It is too depressing. You just can't. 

You have someone who is admitting to feeling sad, defeated, scared, depressed, anxious, insecure, you pick the emotion here, and there, in the throngs of their telling you how they are feeling once of these less-than-stellar emotions, you decide now is the time for the "learning lesson". Or to finally let go of those words you have been fighting back, that are your real, true, honest opinion about their situation. And sometimes that seems faster than offering words of compassion, care and support.  

Granted, relationships are all about the honest opinions. On both sides. That is what we use to build love, trust, and respect off of. But there is a time and a place for them. 

I am not saying don'teverspeaknegativewordsoryourtrueopinionstosomeoneyouloveoryouarehorribleandgettingitallveryveryverywrong. But I think there is a time. And a place. And a way to deliver the message, possibly after they have stopped crying or feeling like they can't breath. 

I take those moments hard. Really hard.

When I am down. Crying. Sucking metaphorical muck off the floor, and feeling some crappy emotion, I feel a million times worse when someone whom I love and trust, tells me that "yup, that emotion. It IS  your worst nightmare. It really is that bad and oh, guess what, I've been thinking this for awhile and I just want to say how I REALLY feel."

It sucks. 

It makes you feel like maybe it is better to just stay down on the emotional floor, sucking your metaphorical emotional muck, and hope that the emotion you are feeling kills you. 

There is always the reminding yourself that this is coming from someone who loves you. Yes, that person, they love you and chance are, they are saying these things not with the intent to be hurtful, but because they have run out of, or don't know what to say to make that big ocean of emotion feel any better. Maybe they are having  a bad day too. So instead of the pep talk, or the "yea, this really sucks, and you are totally right to feel this way" even though they could say SO much more they keep their mouths shut; you get a "Here is how you are feeling AND a good ole' dose of shitty" on top of it. But they do love you. Which is such a hard pill to swallow, but you've that is the key to this all. 

And I know this. 

Because I have. been. there. done. that.

I have said some really not uplifting things to people when they are not at their best. I have regretted it. Even when it felt REALLY good to say something, I knew I hurt the other person. I knew I missed the opportunity to build them up. To make them realize that the dark spot they are in, it will pass. They will come out on the other side ok. That they are bigger, stronger and more loved than they can possibly imagine at that moment.

It is what we do....we hurt, we grow, we come back from it, and then we thrive. 

It is part of life. 

But I've been there. I've hurt someone, in the very way that people have hurt me. So I get it. I want to put this in my mind now. I want to be better. I want to try to not inflict the same hurt someone inflicted on me. Because while I love them, and I know they love me, kicking someone when they are down, no matter how hard it is to bite your tongue or how weary you are, isn't how we would want to be treated ourselves, so why do it to others?

I want to take what I am feeling right now. This hurt. I want to learn from this. That empowerment. Support. And that IwilllistentoyoucrynomatterhowmuchIthinkIamrightandknowhowyoucanfixit, is how I face those conversations with people who I know are lying on the proverbial emotional floor, sucking their own version of emotion muck. 

That golden rule we all heard growing up really is true. Treat others the way you would want to be treated.
Amen.

La Jolla Wedding and Pledge Class Reunion: Part II

If you missed the first part of my La Jolla trip you can read about it here.
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The morning of the wedding the BF and I had a relaxing breakfast where I was sure to fuel up for Kendal and Brandon's big day! I got dropped off at the hotel and the bridesmaids all met up in Kendals suite (which has a beautiful view of the ocean) to get ready, and to do our bridesmaidly duties!

The beautiful bride after we fluffed that skirt for days!

Bridesmaid bouquets. We each got to carry a unique orange flower.

Getting ready was really fun. We all helped each other do our makeup. I got pampered and got my hair professionally done. We did a big round of photos before the ceremony and then got all lined up to get Kendal down the isle to become a Mrs.!

The wedding was really sweet. A member of the groom's family married them, and the love between Kendal and Brandon was really sweet to be witness to.

After the wedding there was a cocktail hour where the pledge class reunion began...

Then we relocated to the reception site, which was beautiful! Watching the sun set over the beach while we ate dinner..

 The tablescapes were beautiful and that pink drink was the signature "blushing bride" cocktail.

View from the reception space. The sun set while we were eating dinner and it was stunning.

Kendal did an incredible job with a ton of person touches. There was a photo booth. Milk and Cookies. A private bathroom for the wedding guest (brilliant idea if getting married at a hotel) (also where one of my favorite memories of the night happened when we had to help the bride with all that dress!). The dance floor was full of people, and we got to relive so of the college sorority formal memories.

This one is one of my favorites.

After the wedding, we decided to take the party to downtown La Jolla and went a bar/club and we danced the night away!

Sadly, the night came to and end and we all had to say our goodbyes as all our flights left at different times the next day.  It was such a great wedding and I was so honored to be a part of it!

The next morning we woke up and got some gas in the car ( a whole other story...but one that luckily didn't result in us being stranded in the wee hours of the morning), and then grabbed brunch at Cody's La Jolla which was excellent and just what we needed after a late night!

 Possibly the best french toast I have ever had.

We made a few stops as we drove back up to LA and despite us having to drive back up to catch flights, it was a really fun morning and afternoon. 

Later that day I caught my flight to head home for a few days before heading off to Kansas City! 

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You can read about my trip to Vegas to celebrate Kendal's bachelorette party here. 

Vegas. #kendalgetsmarried

Vegas.
My first time in Vegas. After many antipacted months of planning, brainstorming, and changing everything a million different times, a weekend in Vegas happened to celebrate Kendal's upcoming nuptials.
Erica and I had planned via phone and gchat this weekend for months. It is crazy to think it was so complicated to organize 8ish women to make sure we all end up in the same place, and the same time. Granted, I shouldn't be surprised at all. Planning things in general is a lot of effort, never mind for a group of girls!
Luckily it was a great weekend, and such a great chance to see the group of girls who I call some of my dearest friends.
I flew from DC to Vegas on Friday afternoon and was welcomed with a blast of sweet sweet dry heat! After checking in the Flamingo hotel, I set out with the other two early arrivers and sought out my first cocktail and a big plate of nachos at Margharittaville. We then decided to start my on food tour and roamed down the strip to see the Venetians, TI, and any other place that we could duck into to beat the heat. After roaming and collecting some drinks for the rooms, we headed back to the rooms to put up decorations in the room to really ring in the Bachelorette party theme.

Other arrivers trickled in, and due to our increasing numbers in age, we all agreed on some soda, chips and salsa, followed by an early (early by Vegas standards, not early for me in regular life!) bedtime.

A morning energy rally happened and we all congregated by the pool to soak in some rays in the triple digit weather! I managed to avoid a major burn (just a few minor spots on my Swedish skin). Hunger dictated showers and a trip to a hotel resteraunt for a massive cheese burrito and cocktails.

After lunch the planned festivities started and we headed to a Pole dancing class at Pole Fitness Studio (highly recommend them). A few minor hiccups in the plan, but we managed to have a blast and to get the bride-to-be laughing.

Relaxing, hair, make up, fake eyelashes, and droning our best Vegas get-ups we headed to dinner at Society Cafe at the Encore. This meal was awesome! A lot of us opted for a four course chefs menu which was so good!

Then we walked to the Wynn next door, and stood in a line that would rival any ride at Disneyland to get into XS. Luckily, good company and a beer make a long line seem a little bit shorter. After weaving through a cue that would make your head spin, we walked into this mega club to a scene that was EXACTLY how I envisioned Vegas. Lights. Dancing. Massive crowds of dancing people. A few obscenely overpriced cocktails, we staked a spot, got the bride-to-be socializing and watched the magic happen. The big attraction of the night was Avicii, and I can certainly check off my bucket list the item that says "go to the most popular nightclub in Vegas, and see a a-list DJ". Check.

I was proud. We stayed out until about 4, pouring ourselves into bed and sleeping through the the remaining wee hours of the morning.
Recovery breakfast. Shopping adventure. And tracking down some sweets from Bouchon bakery wrapped up my trip and I headed back to the airport with a total of about 10 total hours of sleep for the weekend.

Bachelorette party success.

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Vegas Bound

In a little more than 2 weeks I will be Vegas bound to celebrate the future nuptials of one my dear sorority sisters and college friend. A whole group of us are spending two days in the sun, sitting pool side, drinking cocktails, putting on some glitter and doing up Vegas right. We are still putting the final touches on the planning and implementation, but I think we are close to getting the trip ironed out and ready to go! 

I can't wait to see some of my closets friends all in the same place at the same time! Throw in the fact that one of us is GETTING MARRIED! and I couldn't be much happier for all of us to get together! 

Now the hardest thing I am struggling with....the going out dress. I ordered two from asos, and sadly the weight watchers hasn't paid off enough for me to feel comfortable in either one of them. So I am at a loss. I want sequins. Maybe one shoulder. I don't want to look 12 (since my long hair is really making that problem worse than it normally is). I want to feel confident and also not worrying about any wardrobe malfunctions, because let's be real, I'll want to be completely focused on making sure the bride is having the time-of-her-life!

It looks like I am going to have to brave H&M and Forever 21 sometime this weekend, but does anyone else have any great suggestions on where I can find a 1) sparkly 2) Vegas-y 3) cheap dress to dance the night away in? 

Any tips for planning a bachelorette party? This is my first time being on the party planning committee and I want to make sure we do it up right!

Founder's Day

As cliche as I am sure it sounds, my decision to join a sorority was not based solely on the benefits it had during my college years. A long history of Greek letters run in my family, and while the family heritage aspect has always called to me, the examples all of my family has set in regards to the lifelong commitment and benefits Greek life brings.

Perhaps this year the timing of Founder's Day was just spot on, or the longer I am out of school, the more I realize how blessed I am for the experience I had. Whatever the reason, I felt such an immense sense of pride today.

While I could go on about the FIRST. The FINEST. And the FOREVER. of my sisterhood, what really stood out to me today was how proud I am of the friendships and relationships I built through my sorority, and how they undoubtedly made me the person I am today.

In browsing some online forums today about ADPi life, someone wrote about the offense statement that people say on occasion to Greeks, which is "All a house is...is the requirement to pay for your friends". There was spot on response that one individual used in response to these statements. "Well if I did pay for my friends, I certainly didn't pay enough". Amen.

My sisters have been the cornerstone of my life. I am lucky. I am blessed. I am so fortunate to have been given the opportunity to become their sister and today is just a reminder of what I am so very lucky to have in my life.

 

Happy Founder's Day Sisters! We Live for Each Other!

 

 

Calling Mom

I don't see my family a ton as I am sure you have all figured out. I try to shoot for two visits a year (!!! Wow, writing that is so so so sad to me, but it is what it is I suppose) with the hefty flight costs and the fact that I can't get over the idea that if I am spending that much money I refuse to go for just a long weekend. On top of that limited face to face interaction....my phone skillz....well for whatever reason, they have slid way down hill. Perhaps it is that whole thing where I secretly resent cell phones (phones that take away from human interaction just about push me over the edge these days), but I have become a really bad "caller". The lovely time difference (ok ok ok, only a few hours, but STILL it is a time difference) also doesn't help my case. By the time I am wrapped up with my evening, dinner, dishes, answering work emails, etc. it is 9/10ish, which is prime dinner time for my west coast dwelling peeps. My family and I talk fairly often (I guess my definition of "often" is subjective as I have friends who talk to their parents everyday), about once every week and a half to two weeks, my friends and I...well we rely on gchat, texts and emails to keep us connected because of that pesky time difference, 20-something-jobs, and respective personal lives that really can make it hard.

However, as much as I can write all of these justifications to valid the infrequency of my interactions, I want to vow to be better.

Image via

Errrr. Or Dad, or Sister. Or Friends.

Perhaps I am feeling sentimental, or really getting homesick :), but I am craving that interaction. To not have to get the readers digest version of what has been going on with people. I want to be able to follow-up on conversations and know something is coming up with somone.

Erica is the queen of this. She remembers birthdays, anniversaries, big test days, presentations at work, interviews, dog birthdays, favorite foods, and the list goes on. About a month ago I came in to work to find an email in the morning asking me how something went. I was so touched to see that from her! I have good people in my life.

So on my list for April personal growth items: call people more.

I can't remember where I read it, but a blogger I read wrote about the 5 minute phone call. The understanding that friends and family are busy. We all are. So don't shoot for 30 minutes of uninterrupted conversation. Enjoy the five minutes, then hang up. Make it longer if you can, but if you need to cook dinner, tie a kids shoe, get the dog from the backyard, you can and there are no expectations. This is what I will focus on. Quick, but more frequent interaction.

Does anyone else find themselves making excuses for their lack of voice to voice communication with people? I also really like the idea of sending hand written notes (Erica does that as well :)!) which maybe I can also adopt, but what else to you do to stay connect with long distance family and friends?

Oyster Cravings and Good Friends

I get these cravings which I am sure are not normal. I've never been pregnant, but these cravings make me scared for when I do have kids!
I love, love, love oysters.
I get cravings for their sweet, salty, briney, cucumber taste and it just gets worse and worse until I can track down some of these delightful creatures for consumption.
After a few weeks of moaning about my latest oyster craving, I was able to rope Ash into heading to Hank's for happy hour before the Thanksgiving holiday.
We easily polished off TWO DOZEN oysters and some glasses of white wine. Mission complete.

Now we just have to see when my next craving kicks in!
Ps you can ask the bf about my rather humorous dining suggestions to get oysters and watermelon. Which always sound good to me. ( yes, together!)

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Evening Stroll

Having a consultant for a boyfriend ( or is it a boyfriend who is a consultant :)?) can be really hard, and emotionally trying. There are a lot of nights and evening of wishing they weren't traveling and a lot of worrying about them when they are traveling. Needless to say, having someone who understands the perspective of a consultant SO can be really comforting.

A, not only understands it, she knows exactly what I am feeling most of the time, as our consultant boyfriends work together. A and I also work together, doubling the understanding part of our friendship. She has been such a supportive, understanding and caring person to have in my life. As time goes on, I know our friendship runs deep and I truly enjoy the time we spend together ( even at work). Now past the sappy part....

On Sunday, both our CSOs had left for work trips, leaving both of us a little blue. Thinking I had who ho hum night of watching TLC, I was excited to get a gchat from A asking if I to walk around Meridian Hill Park.

We met up 15 minutes later to stroll this beautiful DC park, listen to the drummers, and then went to the newish Pleasant Pops store to get some pre-dinner dessert.

While I did take my big girl camera, I sadly didn't check the battery, so I only got one photo before it died! It was a beautiful fall evening, complete with a poodle!

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