Marshmallows & Mice

I leave for Seattle in less three days. THREE days. I have SO much to do. Personally. Work-wise. Christmas shopping wise. It is a bit overwhelming. But we are pushing through and working as much as possible so I can disconnect as much as possible for the Seattle/Idaho extravaganza!


Well tonight as a break from work (and since I have been telling the bf I would) I made marshmallows. Let's just say I didn't exactly execute them very well. Right now I have a giant puddle of marshmallow fluff "firming" in my kitchen. Let's be clear. I don't think this firming that the recipe speaks of is going to happen. Sigh. So maybe I feed it him with spoons? Ugh. Well I tried right?

At least it looks pretty. Just sitting on my counter. All stuck to the pan and not firming.

I will do as the recipe says, and let them sit over night. And maybe, just maybe, with a bit of magic they will set-up and be awesome. Or I will scrape it into the trash.

There are some new additions to my kitchen. They were an acquisition from IKEA. I find them adorable and once I got them home I knew they needed to live in the kitchen.

I need some name ideas if people are feeling creative this evening.

Well keep your fingers crossed for my baking disaster. Let's hope it surprises me in the morning!


_________________________________________________

As I went to finish this post the mice made me think of a story that was told all the time about my sister and my grandma ( on my dad's side). My Grandma Tory never liked mice. In fact she hated them. Down right couldn't stand them. Well my sister made her a little cloth mouse one year. I am not sure if it was for Christmas or what. But it was in a little box and my grandma opened it and if I remember correctly- screamed and didn't want a lot to do with the little cloth mouse. I don't know why this so vividly sticks out in my head, but I always remember that story.

I was also thinking today that I remember her wearing this beautiful necklace. It was on a gold chain and it was like a glass bubble (flatish- kind of like a locket that doesn't open) but it was filled with gold dust. I used to sit with her and constantly turn it over and over in my hands. It was a beautiful necklace and now that I think about it...have no idea where it ended up.

Well officially off to bed! 'Night blog world!

Moments By iPhone

Christmas Ornament Diplay Rack @ IKEA--Purple Wall in My Apartment with Tiny Ornaments--Chicken on a Chain, My Office Bull--A Cup Of Tea in My Turkish Tea Glass--The DC Inspection Station, felt like just yesterday I did that--Jay-Z being Dramatic-- Idaho State Society's STOMP--Christmas Lights in My Window with Nibblet

Bitter Much?

I've been a pretty bitter person for the last 24 hrs. No wait. 2 weeks. Ok, let's be honest with ourselves now... perhaps last year of my life has seemed to be riddled with tough, trying, emotional, complicated, makemecryuntilIamgoodandneasousandlooklikeIhaveaneyeinfection crap that I have allowed entirely to get the best of me. Thus resulting in the bitter.

It is a slippery slope too. Granted, the transition to DC has always felt hard. "Growing up" after college has felt challenging, but I think I started getting angsty about one thing, got overwhelmed that I couldn't sort through the feelings and then slipped right on down that double-black-diamond-of-a-cliff called selfhateredandlifeloathing. Now now...I don't hate myself, OR my life. But I do feel like I have let myself get the best of me. Yesterday morning I said something that made me so disgusted with my attitude that even I didn't  want to be around me. I seriously was like "Ugh. Good Lord. Who would want to spend time with you!?". I woke up, put myself together and got to the office. I turned off the distractions, put in some serious effort into some linger to-do projects and tried to just focus on what I needed to do today. I took a few minutes to grab lunch, read some blogs, and order a book I have been meaning to get. And then, I stumbled across someone else's words.

Reading them I knew that I was fated to see those words. To read them; to have them hit so close to my little heart that it scared me, and to stop and say "Wait".

What dawned on me was that I needed to shape up right now. Kind of like where Olivia Newton John sings that song in Grease,  the one where she lets Danny know that he needs to shape up? (Loved that movie as a kid).

Yes I have some major shit I am working through. And it is scary and I am allowed to be a big snotty, crying, scared, confused mess about it. But the stuff that has become automatic for me to complain about needs to be stopped.

So this is a post to do some damage control. And hopefully for those of you who experienced this hideous side of me in the past few days will see this as an extension of my sincerest apologies.

• We went to IKEA this weekend and I don't even remember what set me off, but I went from WhooooIKEA! IloveallofyourstuffandwantandneedtoownmorecrapthanIwouldeverneed to this uber depressed Eeyore of a person who I am not even kidding said: "With my luck, I will only move into smaller and smaller apartments". For realz. There are so many things wrong with this statement I could vomit.
1. First of all. It is ludicrous. I have done nothing but moved from better living situation to better living situation since moving here. So unless I decide to become a starving artist, I am fairly certain that someday (maybe not tomorrow) I will move into an amazing place with a real bedroom and a kitchen with counter space and a bathroom that has storage space.
2. I love my apartment. I pay for it. It is decorated how I like. It is small, but at the same time when I snuggle up on my couch and look at my Christmas lights there is a warmth and coziness to it that feel like a home.
3. I have a roof. I have a bed. I have food. I have an oven. I even have a metal chicken named Jay-Z. I am blessed.
4. "Don't compare your insides to anyone else's outsides". My apartment is perfectly adequate and I should be proud. End of story.

Damage Control Numero Dos:


In response to "What do you have going on today" I said something to the effect of "TodayisgoingtosuckbeforeIevengetoutofbedandIshouldn'teventrybecausetheendoftheworldiscomingforthe9millionthtime"

Yea. It was ugly. Even it being Monday isn't an excuse for such a I-Hate-Everything response.

So here it goes. I am going to re-answer, and show that indeed, nothing warranting that ugly response has or will probably occur today.

Edited response:

"Well I am not thrilled it is Monday. Always hard to head back to the office after a weekend. I have a few meetings today and also need to work on some policies I have been drafting and get caught up on some of my recruiting efforts. After work I have to run to Georgetown and then I want to get a run in since I am trying to get on the bandwagon after my long hiatus from the gym."

There.

Not painful. Not miserable. Typical. Average. Day. So buck up Sparky.

So there it is. I slipped right on down that slide of misery, angst and bitterness only to now try to run up that slippery plastic, twisted piece of plastic like in my elementary school days. And just like then. I am sure I am going to eat it and slide right back down, but hopefully I'll take another stab and stop whining like it is my job.

Found Here

Where to Start

I feel lost even trying to start this "back in the saddle" post. I honestly was very much on the verge of closing down shop with TFWDC (ya...you like that abbreviation don't you?). I have been wary of the "drama" and then judgement that comes with putting my life on here.

I also started to have those questions of what do I "filter". What do I write about? Who do I write about? It was paralyzing. All of the "what ifs" I had swirling around in my head. But I think I am over it. 

And back to hopefully documenting things not just for myself but also for you crazy people who read this and find it interesting still. Thank you for flattering me. 

There has been a lot left off of here since I took my hiatus. It's sad to think those memories probably won't be commited to memory here. Hopefully I will remember them and then moving forward I will learn my lesson about not sharing moments when they happen. I want to provide a brieft summary of life. But honestly--it feels like an empty attempt.

My family did just visit me in DC for Thanksgiving. I did go to Turkey (like the country). I just put up my meager Christmas decorations.I bought new sheets. There was another bathtub incident. I'm learning that trust and doubt can be some of the most raw and complex feelings to understand. My hair has seemed to grow a lot since I cut it> I am going to be on the Best Coast in 17 days from today.

Maybe I will start with that above list and work my way through some posts to get myself back up to speed with what I have been doing with myself these days.

Well I guess I will say "Thank You" for not giving up on me quite yet here. Hopefully I will redeem myself. I do have some awesome pictures to put up if you can hang with me just awhile longer.

Is It Really That Thing Called Monday Again Tomorrow?

This weekend just slipped through my fingers. I feel like I hardly did anything in the past few days, and it was a week that I really needed a solid weekend after. Needless today say...I am a bit bummed to be headed back to work tomorrow (granted working on a Sunday night in pjs on ones couch isn't much better).

It snowed yesterday which was crazy. There have been a lot of Halloween costume sightings. Particularly in the morning...watching a bumble bee carry her heels to the bus stop never gets old in my book.

To rewind, a few weekends ago we were having brunch at a place down the street from my apartment and I encountered this:

"This" meaning a double yolked egg.

I am fairly certain this is my first and only double yolked egg I have ever encountered. What a stroke of good luck I thought to myself! Well, while I will stick to my idea that this is an omen of good luck, after some online google research I was quick to find the double yolked eggs are not only associated with good luck but also with:

• an omen of marriage or a proposal
• the birth of twins
• a tragic family issue

Let's stick with the omen of good luck shall we?

With Halloween tomorrow I have been admiring people's fall decorations and their Halloween spirit. The other weekend in Old Town I saw these two houses that had done a classy little decorating for tomorrow's holiday. 

Some cute little pumpkins always add that perfect fall touch to any doorway.



I hope that you all have fun, festive and safe Halloweens tomorrow. I have plans to hand out some candy at a friend's house, bake some sweet treats and watch Hocus Pocus. (I'm providing a little clip for your enjoyment)!