Back to Life, Back to Reality

I am really struggling today feeling like I just hit a cement wall emotionally.

I always get in a funk when I come back East. This isn't home to me. It isn't where I want to be. This place isn't full of things that make me happy. In fact, I feel like every day here is a battle to survive. Just to breath, or exist is a struggle.

To say the least, I just emotionally bummed.

I had the most glorious week in Idaho. Celebrating my mom, and the fact that she survived another year. Literally, survived this year. We sat by pools in cabanas, we drank wine, we listened to free symphony concerts, we drank home brew beer, ate copious amounts of homemade bean dip, soaked in natural hot springs as the sun set. I felt like I was breathing normally again. I felt full, and content emotionally.

Then that plane ride back to DC.

With each glance out the window, watching the terrain get flatter and the air less clear with humidity, my spirits fell and sunk so low that getting out of bed this morning was a chore.

Forgive me while I suck on muck for a few days and try to rally emotionally. Hopefully, this furrbaby will pull me out of my funk.

Me. Oh. My.

Well me. oh. my. I could have sworn it was July. 

But here we are in September. I wouldn't believe it if I didn't have a calendar staring me in the face at this very moment. Somehow, without any explanation a full 2 months has just evaporated. 

I've missed writing here. I think about it just about every darn day, but every day I find myself going to bed wishing I had carved out the time to come here and document life. 

Eight weeks isn't even that much time, but a lot of has happened. I was just on the other side of the globe a week ago, and before that I was checking things off my bucket list, and even before that, I was in the best place on earth. I've been on 11 flights, in 7 countries, with family, with friends, and with my myself. 

I managed to essentially skip summer in DC, and there are days where I forget where I am right now. (Perhaps that is just the jet lag speaking) 

Where to start? How to wrap my head around everything that has been going on, as this summer has easily been in the top 5 summers of my life. 

I went home. I posted once about the start of my trip there and then quickly settled so deeply into my new "routine" in Idaho, I didn't bother to write again while I was there. Regardless, is was the best 5 weeks I have had since sometime in 2008 I am pretty sure. I was home. I was with my family. I was truly happy. 

I sat on our deck and read and sipped red wine. I cuddled with the dog. I saw friends. I went to my high school reunion. I went to a family reunion. I hiked. I got to love on my niece and nephew. I got to laugh with my sister. I got sort through childhood memories. I got to go to farmers markets and shopping with my mom. It was cathartic.

Bless the individual who invited the "work from home" model. Amen.

I checked off a bucket list item. I saw Niagara Falls. We even took one of those boats out to where you get soaking wet and can hear the roar of the water crashing down the falls. We wore ponchos and ate a hot dog while we strolled along and took photos of the jaw dropping sight. 

It always stuck with me when I was little to hear that one set of my grandparents had honeymooned in Niagara, and it was special to go here. Albeit, I am sure the tacky hotels and Vegas-esque vibe wasn't around when they experienced Niagara. There was also a jaunt up to Toronto, where we ate at the Momofoku Noodle Bar, and stayed up watching the light show on the CN Tower .

Then it was a frantic week, full of long nights of working and preparing to be gone on a ten day trip to Europe. We ate goulash, drank beer in a ruin pub, walked across the Chain Bridge, and soaked in natural baths in Budapest. We rode bikes, drank beer on a canal, salivated in design stores, and took a car on a ferry to Sweden in Copenhagen. We toured Buckingham Palace, and saw how giddy I can get seeing the Royal landmarks, ate pizza with a bunch of hipsters and saw friends in London. 

It's been a whirlwind. I am exhausted (and sick. boo.) but feeling incredibly energized in thinking back on what an incredible few months it has been. 

Hopefully some detailed summaries are to follow- but I don't dare say this until I actually see it happen. Meanwhile I will be sleeping odd hours, dreaming of cooler places, and really good food.  

The Fall Whomp Whomps

I have been some sort of ill for almost two months now. Seriously. It just hasn't let up.

Before heading off for the wedding palooza I came down with something that lingered the entire trip. Then upon arriving home I went into a full-blown illness complete with a hacking cough that made my brain hurt. I still have that cough on and off. To top it all off, Monday I ended up dragging myself to one of those emergency walk-in medical clinics as I was having back and side pain coupled with a fever the the shakes like no other. I am now on day five of a ten day course of antibiotics. All the meanwhile, starting a new job. Let's just say this hasn't been my finest fall. Luckily, I am finally feeling a bit better today and on the mend, but I've still got five days of doctors orders of laying low (no gym, no glass of red wine, no massive amounts of dairy and lots of sleep). Some years you just get all the luck huh?

There have been a few things that have been keeping me in good spirits despite feeling a little crappy. First off, can we just say n-e-w j-o-b. That adjustment is always hard, but when you feel proud of yourself for landing a job you really wanted, you feel pretty darn good waking up every day and turning on your computer. (That 2 minute commute to my "office" doesn't hurt either!). Also, did I mention that I got the second highest score on a post-training test?? AND I was in a training class with people who had been at the company for years! So what-what! Rockin-it!

I also brought these beauties home last weekend from my beloved Trader Joes.

They really make me smile. So much so, that I was thinking that I should challenge myself to have flowers around at least once each month. Kind of a twelve bouquets challenge for the year. 

I also cooked something. Amazing, considering I could hardly bend over to reach our pots and pans we store in the lower cabinets. I wanted to try a fresher-than-canned-soup chicken noodle soup. While it wasn't amazing, it was pretty good. It certainly tasted better than anything coming out of a can, and boasted a ton of fresh chicken, and tons of fresh veggies. I'll take it as a win.

Let's just hope I am on the up-swing of all this illness now!

What is Going On?

The weather here has been nuts! By nuts, I mean awesome for DC in AUGUST. Last weekend we picnicked! Laid in the grass, basked in the sun! My shins didn't sweat! I am telling you--strangest, but best DC summer ever (or in my DC tenure). Granted we are back to the regularly scheduled humidity and hot days, but considering this summer has been a breeze compared to years past---I take it as a win. 

Views from our picnic on the Potomac last weekend

I know I just up and let you all here. I've started probably a dozen or so posts, and just couldn't get into them. I don't force my blogging here, because this is my hobby, and as much as I would love it to be a hobby and a job of sorts, it just isn't, and I try my best to keep this something I enjoy, rather than something I associate with a "to-do" item. 

I always wish I would write more. Document more. Share more. I feel like not only is this such a great resource for myself to keep track of my life in a diary-esque manner, but I love the thoughtful and meaningful comments and interactions I have from this space. I am hoping that I can clear my head, and some more time for this blog.

Moving on.

Last weekend also resulted in a trip to Ben's Chili Bowl to introduce some visiting family members of our friends to the goodness of Ben's. We even got a professional tourist photo taken of us!

We have a doozy (dozy? doozie? hm.) of a few weeks coming up. Preparation for weddings, my SO's Birthday, getting to go home, hearing back on something I've been waiting on for awhile, and hopefully fitting in some last summer hurrahs (hopefully with some more crazy nice DC weather). 

So there it is. A post after a hiatus. Hopefully this is the start of some regular time here!

Oh, It is just you Monday.

Sigh.

Monday morning was rough. If it hadn't been for the new dress I was saving to wear for one of "those" days, I might have stayed slid down to the floor and laid like a starfish sprawled out, hoping the day wouldn't start. Luckily, I had picked this up after work one day when I was engaging in some retail therapy with Ashley.

 

 

I still need to get a belt for it, but I love it. It is no fuss, light weight and grown up all at the same time.

 

Regardless of the dress, which kept the gloom at bay. This is what really kept me going on Monday:

 

Source unknown- sent to me by a co-worker

 

Ok. Sorry SORRY for all those sensitive eyes out there. Perhaps a little inappropriate, but it has been a doozy of a few weeks at work and I am really in need of a one way plane ticket, a poodle, bottle of wine, and tropical island where no one speaks English.

 

Alas, I highly doubt anyone is showing up with a giant check and whisking me away.

 

Now on to more fun, less, boo-hoo updates.

 

I made my first Hazel & Olive purchase tonight. Molly has really sold this as an awesome store, and I have been eying this dress and finally just couldn't tear my eyes away. (Molly also has her own adorable store, Molly Suzanne that you should check out). 

 

 

via

 

I guess we can say Happy early Birthday to me? Yes, it is true. Birthday month is upon me. Eeek. I can't even think about it yet. I'm getting old people! OLD! I also just dropped my first 10 pounds on Weight Watchers. As I am sure some of you remember, I started WW last year in January and it was kind of a flop. I lost a little over five pounds, and then I just dropped off the wagon. I do have to say...you have to want it, and be ready to make changes. I think the last time I did it, I wasn't ready or prepared to plan, improvise, and invest the time and money health eating can require. So far I feel a lot more motivated this time around. I try my best to keep fruits and veggies stocked and front and center as part of my eating plan. Portion control has been huge, and I know I am slowly making steady changes that seem to be sticking.

 

So while work is wearing me down. Hopefully I will be wearing some pretty cute dresses these next few weeks.

 

 

Where to Start

I feel lost even trying to start this "back in the saddle" post. I honestly was very much on the verge of closing down shop with TFWDC (ya...you like that abbreviation don't you?). I have been wary of the "drama" and then judgement that comes with putting my life on here.

I also started to have those questions of what do I "filter". What do I write about? Who do I write about? It was paralyzing. All of the "what ifs" I had swirling around in my head. But I think I am over it. 

And back to hopefully documenting things not just for myself but also for you crazy people who read this and find it interesting still. Thank you for flattering me. 

There has been a lot left off of here since I took my hiatus. It's sad to think those memories probably won't be commited to memory here. Hopefully I will remember them and then moving forward I will learn my lesson about not sharing moments when they happen. I want to provide a brieft summary of life. But honestly--it feels like an empty attempt.

My family did just visit me in DC for Thanksgiving. I did go to Turkey (like the country). I just put up my meager Christmas decorations.I bought new sheets. There was another bathtub incident. I'm learning that trust and doubt can be some of the most raw and complex feelings to understand. My hair has seemed to grow a lot since I cut it> I am going to be on the Best Coast in 17 days from today.

Maybe I will start with that above list and work my way through some posts to get myself back up to speed with what I have been doing with myself these days.

Well I guess I will say "Thank You" for not giving up on me quite yet here. Hopefully I will redeem myself. I do have some awesome pictures to put up if you can hang with me just awhile longer.

This is the Kind of Week it Has Been...

Yes I am so out of it this Friday that I put not one, but two heat sleeves on my cup of coffee this morning. I am really in need of this weekend!

And yes that is my Miss Potato head that sits in my window to keep me grounded and remind me where I came from. I-da-ho represent!

I have been going going going going at work for weeks now. I am recruiting for about 15 positions, and still trying to work on this big project that seems to be going no where, and then also fit in all my other "duties". It has been slow and frustrating progress for sure.

Amazingly we finally have fall here in DC. Yesterday it seemed like in a matter of 2-3 hours the temperature dropped and mother nature decided that it was in fact time for it to be fall and to have some brisk weather. I love it! I walked to work this morning just to enjoy the fresh air and the fact that I didn't break a sweat after 2-3 blocks of walking. It is supposed to be like this all weekend so I can not wait to get some relaxing, blogging, reading (the book I seem to have lost), studying, shopping, and crafting in.

Happy Friday!

Still in the Box Straight from IKEA

I have a theory that IKEA furniture, *most* furniture, is good for three moves. At that point for some reason those little special screws, wooden pegs and pesky turn-and-lock-devices get tired of doing their job and it becomes only a matter of time until you piece of furniture decides it is the end of its lifespan. Now to clarify—I adore IKEA. Like could work there. Live there (yes just play “house” in one of those “Look!! This is 216 sq feet and we put EVERYTHING you could possibly need in it!” displays. But we have to be realistic here. Anything that you put together with a little tool that comes in the box can’t last forever.

Well as you all saw. My trusty dresser, which has survived the following moves:
1) Shifts around the Alexandria Apartment
2)Alexandria Apartment into T Street Apartment
3) T Street Apartment to Current 415 Abode

It was also the $70 dresser. I shouldn’t be horribly surprised that when I tried to fix the collapsed drawer I showed awhile back, the whole drawer just went caput. (PS have I really  been living with a collapsed drawer in my dresser for over a month!!???!! Can anyone say living the bachelorette lifestyle and loving it?) Luckily I have been hankering for a trip to IKEA. Luckily I was able to swindle A1-1-1 to go with me to go pick out a new dresser and purchase some other unnecessarybutimusthavethisorIwon’tliveacompletelifeandIwillfeeldevoidandempty items.

We settled on this:




I wanted the version that was taller and had a few more drawers but since my spacious closet is quickly growing increasingly crowded and stress-inducing we decided a looming dresser would only make it feel smaller. This one is only a few inches in each direction bigger than what I have now. The major point is that is has new drawer construction which will hopefully prohibit the same drawer problem to happen again.
I also got a bundt pan/spring form round cake pan that I can’t wait to use. I may be baking myself a cake. And then while I stady for the the GMATs end up eating it Miranda style out of the trash can in my kitchen.
This is why I am not sure why they let me have a ticket to being an adult.
Speaking of GMATs. This stuff is getting serious. I need to get my act together and take this thing before my level of stupid gets any worse! I swear! I also have the chance to take my PHR coming up very soon and I don’t think I can manage my  work, ADPi volunteering, running, social/dating life with studying for not one but TWO tests.
Anyone with studying techniques when you feel like you have been out of school forever and have no idea how to retain standardize testing knowledge---let me know.
Did I mention the dresser is still in its box? Off to the side of my TV- just so I can watch TV. Still a little put off that IKEA directions indicate you need a friend to put their stuff together. It would be nice if they included that second person in the box with all the other parts in that nice little plastic bag of do-dads. Maybe this weekend we will drag out the rejected dresser and get the new one all set-up.

Running Progress

Today was the first day I finally felt like I made some progress with my new running regime. It wasn't anything to brag or write home about I am sure from a true runners perspective but it was the longest stretch I have run without stopping to walk which felt great! I am hoping this is the start of a break through where I can really start to increase my time and distance.

I will say on the discouraging side. I have not lost a single pound! Not one! Which seems almost impossible since all my clothes have started to look better and fit a little loser, but really not a single pound! What gives!!?!? I know you are not supposed to depend on the scale but it is hard to ignore it and keep a positive attitude about all my focus on getting fit. Between Jazzercise, running and counting calories you would think some pounds should be coming off right?

As of yesterday there were 25 days until my 25th birthday, (eep! I'm old). But I am going to take these next 24 days to really push myself so I can celebrate my quarter of a century feeling really great about my body and self.

Well off to the park to do some GMAT studying in the perfect spring weather!

Happy Saturday!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

This has been a blog I have been  anxiously/nervously/eagerly/regretfully/sadly/enthusiastically/amazingly/andeveryotheremotionyoucanpossiblyimagine
waiting to write.

After a lot of thought (and tears) I have made the decision to move on to a different organization and leave my current job.

I am still in shock when I write that or tell people.

My job has been such a big part of my life for the past two and half years. I can easily say that without my job there is no way I would have survived the transition to the East Coast. Through it I have met some wonderful friends that I know will extend into my life far past this short time that I worked with them. I feel that I invested a lot in the position- received my first promotion and also learned the ropes of a "real job".
But change is inevitable and it was time to make a change that was best for me. I had someone describe that my grief and sadness with leaving my job is much like breaking up with your first love. You know deep down it probably isn't going to work out. But first love is blind and innocent, and you almost think it can do no wrong. So there has been some realities, and with finding a job that I think I can grow in and learn a lot from- I knew it was finally time to say goodbye to my first work-love.

I am still working in a somewhat HR related role- but focusing on some different areas and getting rid of some of the aspects I did not enjoy previously. I pray it will be a good fit. I start Monday and I am nervous like a little kid on the first day of school. It is strange to know you will have to re-learn and re-train on so much. And I sit and think "I hope they like me"- just like when I was 12 years old. Some emotions and fears just never change.

I will leave it at that. I am scared/excited/nervous/anxious and just clinging to the truth that I nothing in my life has led me anywhere that has turned out horribly. Granted I have had my fair share of 'backpeddling' moments, but overall I have been provided for and very blessed, and I am sure this change and decision will fall into that category as well.

Thank you to everyone who helped me through the decision, the process and the emotions. I owe you all for your constant support and patience with my indecisive nature. You are all the best people I could ever ask for in my life.

Comments on the Week

It has been a relatively unexciting week.

I did have a mid-week adventure with Ben. We went to the Korean something something house that was hosting an exhibit on this island that has been fought over by Korea and Japan for ages. It was a neat evening event that involved some tasty free food.

I have been absolutely exhausted this week. Zero energy to do anything after work but watch TV and go to bed! Hopefully I will find some energy since I hate doing the 9-6 gig and then sleeping the rest of the time!

I have had some interesting job issues come up...next week should be interesting.


Counting down the days until FLORIDA and some of my ADPis!!!!