Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Letters to DC: To the Man Who "Has a Wife & Child"

Dear Man "With a Wife & Child",

What happened at Barnes & Noble was...shocking. My head is still reeling from the incomprehensible absurdity of the interaction we shared over the the table that opened up in the Starbucks cafe. 

Now, I am sure I have no idea how stressful your day had been. Perhaps your kid screamed all morning, or your wife was mad at you for not remembering something you should have, and perhaps (just perhaps) you were trying to make up for it by securing a table in the Starbucks cafe so your child could enjoy a milk box, and your wife and you could sit and chat while the fruits of your loin made you two realize how in love you two are. 

However, the statement "have some mercy! I have a wife and child" said in your entitled voice, as you leaped in front of me to steal the table we had patiently been waiting for, was uncalled for, and frankly absurd.

There were approximately, 20 other tables, and in fact-- one opened up not more than 5 minutes after you rudely took the table that we had kindly been offered by the individual who was leaving. Your child was not screaming, or even acting like they wanted to sit down (plus they had a stroller they could have sat in that was blocking an entire isle of books) and your wife ended up not even sitting down with your to enjoy a over complicated coffee order. (You both seemed like the type to order a Triple, Venti, Half Sweet, Non-Fat, Caramel Macchiato)

Regardless, the next time you think having a "wife & child" make your more important than a kind, patient, couple who just wanted to order a coffee and browse their travel books, and patiently followed the social norms of waiting for a table in a crowded store) you may want to think about what makes you more worthy of that table. 

I hope that your wife reminded you of why she was probably mad at you (that undesirable selfish, self-important attitude may be a clue), your kid screamed the entire way home and threw their milk box on you, and that the next time I encounter you in a Starbucks I can get over my shock to kindly remind you that we had been waiting ahead of you, and social norms say that we were in the right to take that table.

Happy Reading to You and Yours MWW&C!

Yours Truly,


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