Thursday, June 20, 2013

Focus. Focus.

When my nephew was little (he is still little, but he was really little a few years ago!) someone taught him to say "focus. foooocccuuusss" whenever he was doing something like going down the stairs where he could get hurt if he wasn't paying attention.

It was adorable.

He would walk up to the top of a set of stairs, get a hand on the wall, would look at anyone in the room and then say "focus. fooocccuuusss" and then take the steps down.

Well Wyatt, I need to hear your little voice in my head every day right now. I need some FOCUS!

It is so so so so SO easy to get distracted, flitting from one to-do list to the next, thinking about tomorrow, and then two weeks from now, getting tired and throwing out your meal plan, or abandoning your intentions to work out so you can watch the Bachelorette while making Paletas.

Distraction for me comes in the form of excuses.

"Well, if I go work out, then I won't eat dinner until late, and then I need to do X before the weekend, and it will just be too late"

It also rears its ugly head with time wasting activities.

Exhibit A: Facebook

I took charge lately and along with Sara, and we GAVE UP FACEBOOK. Gulp. For one month, but hopefully forever in the sense that my addiction will be squished by the time I get it back and I just won't care.

It has honestly helped. I find myself reading, sitting by the pool, cleaning, working, and doing creative things more than I was. Am I still distracted by Instagram, twitter and Pintrest? Absolutely! But it is helped, and I only hope I can eliminate other distractions that allow me to be more present.

Why did I pick Facebook, and why had it gotten so out of control? Well I don't think I was even that big of a user of Facebook, but I noticed the comparisons I was starting to make.

Feeling nervous that everyone was announcing their engagements and babies and starting to think I wasn't doing something right. Or talking about their promotions, or new jobs, and feeling like I don't have much to brag about. People adopting puppies, and getting sad I can't do that. Friends hanging out, going on amazing trips, and me being stuck on the wrong side of the country.

It was all bad. It was all destructive behavior- because let's be honest, no one's life is perfect. We show only what we want to show on these crazy social media outlets.

So I made it so I had to stop looking, and it has done wonders.

I gained some focus.

But there are still some things, big things, that I need to train my eyes to look forward, and not do the crazy horse eye with.

I lost ten pounds on Weight Watchers over the course of about 6 weeks. Then the Poodle, my birthday, Vegas, and Vegas recovery happened. I've been cheating. Playing the eating game halfway. Half good. Half bad. Luckily, the worst that has happened, is that I am stalled. I haven't shed a single ounce. Knowing that it is my own doing it good, but still, I am defeated, and thus continue on this half in, half out, behavior.

I have 10 weeks to shed at least another 10 pounds before Kendal's wedding. There is no other reason to do this other than the fact that I am tired of looking the way I do. I remember Alli's wedding... where I looked back at the photos and thought how sad I was that I had three chins in photos she will have forever. I don't want that feeling again.

So I need to buckle down. I need to stop saying "yes" to foods I know I shouldn't be eating (or at least eating frequently". I need to be planning ahead, have snacks on me at all times, and the confidence to tell people that I need options based on my eating needs. No more eating the burger because everyone else has a burger and it would seem rude to ask to go somewhere else. I need to get back to the gym and not once every two weeks. 2-3 times a week at a minimum.

I need to focus. Foooocccuuusss.

1 comment:

  1. I think you are BEAUTIFUL!!! :) :) And classy and smart and funny and all-around fabulous person to be around! (Can you tell I miss ya???) ;)