Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Shifts of Change

Window in Del Mar from our recent CA adventure

Change. Sometimes the drastic changes force and create the small changes. The ones you won't notice right away, but the ones that all put together in a string of subtelness, create a larger, more noticeable affect.

Today. Right now. Something feels different. A noticeable shift in my universe. It started around 4:30 today (yes I can even pinpoint a time when this started to shake out). Just barely there, a whisper of change. Perhaps the crisper fall air, or the quickening of the evenings. Quiet. A scent of something new, mixed with with the past of something familiar.

The world has been flushed with good. Honest. Real inspiration. Be it people, news or nature. It is shimmering with something refreshed. The bad is there. The negatives are there. But around 4:30 today, I was blind to that. Immune to the anxiety that has been sitting in the pit of my stomach. I only saw sunshine, relished in the fall weather, and felt my heart beat just a little more in rythem with my head for the first time in what feels like years.

I've been begging for change. Pleading with God. To the point of bargaining, which is so silly, but so human. I wanted to see something move, to budge, to shift.

Now, it is in motion. Turning, moving, changing. I feel it and I SEE it.

My invitation is there. Beckoning to take this change and to run with it. To pull it is fast and far as I possibly can, and not wait for anything or anybody to tell me if it is ok, or right. Just to do. To act. To create what I've been wanting to create.

All these little shifts I have felt are all little splinters fragmenting off from the bigger change. The one that I thing is glowing with change- I took a new job.

Perhaps a bit more about that new job later, but I've wanted to get that out there for awhile, since I am thrilled about this change and the specific opporunity. Tonight. Tonight, I am taking this evening to sit, quietly, and listen to my head and heart and just feel those little shifts. Enjoy them. Savor them. Knowing that this is all taking me somewhere. Physically, emotionally. I am going somewhere, and isn't that just the whole point of all of this? To go. To keep moving. To create. To define. To change.