This poem popped into my head as I was falling asleep. I have been fighting to stay awake all night and I was blissfully about to drift off and then BAM! I remembered this. I had to memorize this poem for 7th grade (maybe 8th grade) English class. It is a pretty dark poem once you look into who the guy was and his life circumstance. But for some reason my subconscious thought I needed to revisit it.
Invictus
OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
Perhaps it is the "I am the master of my fate" line that really did it.
Work is nuts. I am officially the "captain" of the HR ship, and while I know all the things that I need to do and when, I still feel like I am going to mess something up. I know I can do this, and I will do it well, but I guess I am just a little nervous. I think we all get a little nervous when we have a big opportunity to prove ourselves. There is some quote about how sometimes we fail just because we are afraid to succeed. (Can't remember it right now) but I think that the idea of being bigger than we ever imagined can be really daunting and intimidating.
It all comes down to expectations. And expectations can be messy and can hurt your feelings. Sometimes I feel like I set expectations for how a situation will change me (i.e. I should be more respected after these two months than before and people will want to come to me for assistance) and then you sometimes get let down when you put in all the work and it all turns out fine but yet the change you were expecting does not occur. Granted I can't see the future, and so I should not dwell on something that has not, and may not happen. Perhaps I will really prove my stuff and rock this like no one could have expected. We will see. But for now...prayers that I will be able to pull it off.
Alright enough late night ramblings. Bed.
Showing posts with label Poems. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poems. Show all posts
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Letters to a Young Poet
I stumbled upon this today:
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart.
Try to love the questions themselves,
like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language.
Do not now look for the answers.
They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them.
It is a question of experiencing everything.
At present you need to live the question.
Perhaps you will gradually,
without even noticing it,
find yourself experiencing the answer,
some distant day.
Letters to a Young Poet
-Rainer Maria Rilke
I don't want to say much more, since I feel like I might ruin it. But I read this and I just stopped and realized that I am clinging so desperately to making sure I have the "answers" and really I am leeching the enjoyment out of life be feeling like I have to be in control and know exactly what is going to happen. I love these beautiful words.
Friday, February 26, 2010
What I Would Tell Them
I was checking out a recommended blog and found this posted. I am head over heels in love with it. Granted I don't have children, but I know that when I do I will feel like this exactly. I also have to give a shutout to my mom/dad for raising me and helping me write a good story.
This isn't written by Emily from the blog mentioned above, but the link she has posted for the write of this is broken...I wish I could give due credit as I think this is wonderful.
WHAT I WOULD TELL THEM:
(If I knew what to say.)
You are a miracle.
And I have to love you this fiercely: So that you can feel it even after you leave for school, or even while you are asleep, or even after your childhood becomes a memory.
You’ll forget all this when you grow up.
But it’s okay.
Being a mother means having your heart broken.
And it means loving and losing and falling apart and coming back together.
And it’s the best there is.
And also, sometimes, the worst.
Sometimes you won’t have anyone to talk to.
Sometimes you’ll wonder if you’ve forgotten who you are.
But you must remember this: What you’re doing matters.
And you have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.
And nurturing the good in this world is nothing short of a privilege.
That’s why I have to love you this way.
So I can give what I have to you.
So that you can carry it in your body and pass it on.
I have watched you sleep.
I’ve kissed you a million times.
And I know something that you don’t, yet:
You are writing the story of your only life every single minute of every day.
And my greatest hope for you, sweet child, is that I can teach you how to write a good one.
The parts highlighted really pull at my heart. I can't tell you the times I have woken up (and gone to bed) and wonder if I have any idea who I am, or if I have forgotten. The more and more I have these thoughts the more and more I have pushed myself to define what makes me...me. Which also requires me to be brave. It is hard to go out into the world and grow up. If I panic about being on the other side of the country, away from my family, my nephew, my friends, I am sure everyone else feels the effects of that. Which benefits no one involved. "You must remember this: what you are doing matters"are such beautiful words. And while I instantly jumped to relating these to my work, as I sit here pondering these beautiful words I see more now that what I am doing isn't just work, but it is who am I am, day in and day out. How I treat others. How I behave in my relationships. How I represent my family. How I love. How I deal with my emotions. What I do with myself each and every minute. But it all matters. It all is inextricably linked to others, and that is a powerful thing to remember.
I am sure I have no idea the overwhelming sense of love that comes with having a child. I am overwhelmed with the love I have for my nephew, and he isn't even my kid! But I am sure I would tell my kids that no matter what anyone says or does or makes them feel they are always loved and were made to be perfect in their own right. I'd also tell them about how tiny they were, since that seems to boggle my mind. Tiny feet and tiny hands that grow up and do amazing things. What would/do you tell your kids?
This isn't written by Emily from the blog mentioned above, but the link she has posted for the write of this is broken...I wish I could give due credit as I think this is wonderful.
WHAT I WOULD TELL THEM:
(If I knew what to say.)
You are a miracle.
And I have to love you this fiercely: So that you can feel it even after you leave for school, or even while you are asleep, or even after your childhood becomes a memory.
You’ll forget all this when you grow up.
But it’s okay.
Being a mother means having your heart broken.
And it means loving and losing and falling apart and coming back together.
And it’s the best there is.
And also, sometimes, the worst.
Sometimes you won’t have anyone to talk to.
Sometimes you’ll wonder if you’ve forgotten who you are.
But you must remember this: What you’re doing matters.
And you have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.
And nurturing the good in this world is nothing short of a privilege.
That’s why I have to love you this way.
So I can give what I have to you.
So that you can carry it in your body and pass it on.
I have watched you sleep.
I’ve kissed you a million times.
And I know something that you don’t, yet:
You are writing the story of your only life every single minute of every day.
And my greatest hope for you, sweet child, is that I can teach you how to write a good one.
The parts highlighted really pull at my heart. I can't tell you the times I have woken up (and gone to bed) and wonder if I have any idea who I am, or if I have forgotten. The more and more I have these thoughts the more and more I have pushed myself to define what makes me...me. Which also requires me to be brave. It is hard to go out into the world and grow up. If I panic about being on the other side of the country, away from my family, my nephew, my friends, I am sure everyone else feels the effects of that. Which benefits no one involved. "You must remember this: what you are doing matters"are such beautiful words. And while I instantly jumped to relating these to my work, as I sit here pondering these beautiful words I see more now that what I am doing isn't just work, but it is who am I am, day in and day out. How I treat others. How I behave in my relationships. How I represent my family. How I love. How I deal with my emotions. What I do with myself each and every minute. But it all matters. It all is inextricably linked to others, and that is a powerful thing to remember.
I am sure I have no idea the overwhelming sense of love that comes with having a child. I am overwhelmed with the love I have for my nephew, and he isn't even my kid! But I am sure I would tell my kids that no matter what anyone says or does or makes them feel they are always loved and were made to be perfect in their own right. I'd also tell them about how tiny they were, since that seems to boggle my mind. Tiny feet and tiny hands that grow up and do amazing things. What would/do you tell your kids?
