Friday, June 4, 2010

Out of the Night...

This poem popped into my head as I was falling asleep. I have been fighting to stay awake all night and I was blissfully about to drift off and then BAM! I remembered this. I had to memorize this poem for 7th grade (maybe 8th grade) English class. It is a pretty dark poem once you look into who the guy was and his life circumstance. But for some reason my subconscious thought I needed to revisit it.


OUT of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate

I am the captain of my soul.

Perhaps it is the "I am the master of my fate" line that really did it.

Work is nuts. I am officially the "captain" of the HR ship, and while I know all the things that I need to do and when, I still feel like I am going to mess something up. I know I can do this, and I will do it well, but I guess I am just a little nervous. I think we all get a little nervous when we have a big opportunity to prove ourselves. There is some quote about how sometimes we fail just because we are afraid to succeed. (Can't remember it right now) but I think that the idea of being bigger than we ever imagined can be really daunting and intimidating.

It all comes down to expectations. And expectations can be messy and can hurt your feelings. Sometimes I feel like I set expectations for how a situation will change me (i.e. I should be more respected after these two months than before and people will want to come to me for assistance) and then you sometimes get let down when you put in all the work and it all turns out fine but yet the change you were expecting does not occur. Granted I can't see the future, and so I should not dwell on something that has not, and may not happen. Perhaps I will really prove my stuff and rock this like no one could have expected. We will see. But for now...prayers that I will be able to pull it off.

Alright enough late night ramblings. Bed.

1 comment: