Thursday, April 12, 2012

Some thoughts on Love.

Being an adult is confusing. Perplexing. Thrilling and terrifying at the same time. There are days where I wonder what ever happened in my life that granted me the authority to make a string of biggirldecisions in a day based upon my "experience" and "desires". I constantly struggle to feel that I have any clue about what I am doing in my life.

But even bigger than that right now the thought weighing on my heart and mind has been this concept of loving someone. Family. Friends. Siblings. Significant Others.

You have to really trust these people. While I am sure no one really knows what they are doing and what direction they are going in, it forces you to rely even more in the thought that the people you share your heart with are going to do everything in their power to treat it with the best of intentions. Certainly people are going to mess up, make wrong turns. Without a doubt this is going to happen- and forgiving and understanding is necessary in love and any relationship. But how do you know that someone who is holding your heart will attempt to act with the best of intentions?

Simple answer: You don't.

So you rely on patterns of behavior that demonstrate that their bumbling and fumbling through life is happening with the best of intentions not only for themselves, but in relation to you and the part of your life you have entrusted in them. In return, you have to be aware that your actions and patterns of behavior are also demonstrating your level of care and concern for their well-being.

It's scary and crazy daunting to think about.

But doctors-- they take that Hippocratic Oath where they pledge to do as little harm as possible in the treatment of patients (drastically paraphrased). What do the people you share your heart with sign on to? What oath or promises do they make that demonstrates their good faith effort to keep your heart as safe as possible and treated with only the best intentions?

You throw in marriage and a wedding as symbols of this dedication and promise, and at its face value this is a giant proclaimation from both parties. But I feel like this idea of trusting someone to include you in their stumbling towards their future and dreams-- is much more important and a foundation that has to be there before a wedding. I am sure all you married people out there can speak much more eloquently to this as I am strictly observing this from someone who is in a relationship but not married.

So building this foundation- It's a two fold effort. You seek these patterns in people to see how they could act, and then you seek a verbal affirmation of what you observe (or what you hope to observe).

Love. It is entrusting someone with everything that makes you you. It is being trusted. Proving you are worth that trust and in return asking them to prove it back.

I promise I will now resume back to the Turkey Trip recap and be done with the self-analyzing post. Thanks for hanging in there....if you made it to the end!

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