I love finding a good article online and love finding recommended reading from other bloggers, as it is almost like a mini book club of sorts. I have read some things lately that have really resonated with me for different reasons. A few thoughts on some of the things I have been reading lately for you:
Some of you may have see the article about the "Pledge Prep" article that ran in the New York Times. My first reaction was shamefully "Wow, I want that job". What has followed in the past few days has been many voices from my connections into the Greek community about how ridiculous the article was and how it brings up one of the most fundamentally sticky issues of sorority or fraternity membership.
You have to have new members to stay alive. Recruitment is your blood line. It is the metric for a healthy chapter, and a chapter that is sustainable. Recruitment is an emotional experience for anyone who has been through it. You are picking an organization that you will forever associate yourself with. It is not a four year commitment. It is a lifetime. Not a lifetime of volunteering, or wearing your letters, or chanting Boom Boom (It certainly can be if you want--which I do) but sorority life brings to you some of the best friends you will ever have, and some of the best memories you will ever create. That is a big decision when you are deciding which letters to wear.
As much stress that recruitment can bring, I do have to say the Response to "Pledge Prep" published over at Phired Up, brings up some of the changes that the Greek community needs to address and also reminded me that my experience taught me that sorority life is anything but a scripted, superficial experience and we as alum and members of the Greek community need to make change to ensure that the experience as a whole-from recruitment to alumni experience is meaningful and empowering.
Through reading a Cup of Jo I was led to a huff post article on 15 Ways to Stay Married for 15 Years. Not only do I LOVE weddings. I love marriage. I love the idea of it, I love knowing that you can spend yourself tied to someone who you just can't get enough of for the rest of your life.
I also am realistic. Life experiences and cold hard facts of life have shaped me into someone who is cautious and protective of my heart. I am firm believer in finding those people who are happily married, and have great relationships and learn from them. Soak up their philosophies, their tips and tricks, and mindset that contribute to a happy and healthy marriage. This article has real, practical, and a not-too-serious-but-just-serious-enough advice. I know there are parts of this that I have tucked away for my relationships and one-day marriage.
I particularly liked point 10. "Stop thinking temporarily". Here is an excerpt that I found incredibly poignant and moving:
"Marriage is not conditional. It is permanent. Your husband will be with you until you die. That is a given. It sounds obvious, but really making it a given is hard. You tend to think in "ifs" and "thens" even when you've publicly committed to forever."
"Accept that you're going to stay with him. He's going to stay with you. Inhabit that and figure out how to make THAT work, instead of living with the "what if"s and "in case of's."
The other point that really stuck was number 15: "Trust the person you married"
" Harder to be loved than to love."
But it is true.
"Love them completely and let them love you. If it all goes to seed, it's going to hurt either way. Better to have gone into it full throttle. Full throttle marriage is a thrilling ride."
Read the article. I loved it.
Finally. Making friends as an adult. Hard shit. This article explains it all so well. If you aren't near your college friends, I am sure you can relate to this just as I have.
There you go my friends! Some reading material to keep you occupied and thinking.
Anyone else have some good reads lately?