Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Age Limbo

I've always envisioned being young and successful. Perhaps being a be naive about how much credibility one can build early in their career. But I've always been ambitious about this. 

It always catches me off guard when my age becomes a topic of interest. I forget that perception is everything, and sometimes the perception is that I am young, and therefore don't have any experience. 

It is a frustrating issue to deal with professionally, but balancing that with my personal resistance to growing older, well, that is a life version of tug-o-war. 

I've heard people thank about a strange limbo state in life...too young to be taken seriously, and too old to not be serious.

On the one hand I hate that there is the possibility that I am perceived as not being competent or as skilled based on my age. I want to "grow-up" so badly so I don't have to combat that image of being "young & inexperienced".

On the other hand, I am having that late-twenties-almost-thirty-freak-out. I am wish time would stop; giving me the opportunity to have things happen like getting married, having kids, and those other big adult things I imagined doing as part of a "we". 

Talk about purgatory.

Too old, but yet too young. Too young, but yet too old. 

It is like a daily game of dress-up (ignore the fact I wear pjs everyday to work), but metaphorically, I have to put on these big kid pants at work. I feel this great pressure to have my personal life together; bills paid, apartment clean, home-cooked meals, laundry folded and holiday decorations I change out year round. However, when I start thinking too much about where I wanted to be at this point in my life, I still feel like I am wearing pigtails and stirrup stretch pants!

Anyone else out there feeling like they are sitting in this limbo state?  I can't be the only one feeling like an adult impostor some days, and a kid playing "office" on others!? 

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