A Stranger

Hello. Hi. Hey.

Greetings from the other side of the country. Finally. 

I truly am a stranger. Metaphorically on this blog, and truly in this place I haven't lived in for over 10 years. 

It's been a handful of a few months. Jokingly my horoscope even was correct, and mercury was in retrograde, then it wasn't and whoa. Ish happened.

This place feels foreign to me. October, that time when I posted last, was a while ago, but emotionally feel like a lifetime ago. There is a laundry list of change that occurred, some of which is still sinking in even for me.

While I could say I'll take time and create a bunch of posts about each change, I know I won't. I know I'll be lucky to be back here in another 6 months, so laying it out on the table will be the only way to utilize this space to preserve the memory.

I moved. Closed the DC chapter in my life (almost, there is apparently still an epilogue going on). I have a new routine- I wake up super early. I got to ski almost every weekend last winter. I drive a car to the grocery store frequently and don't dread it. I even bought a new car!!! I frequently go outside and feel genuinely lucky to be alive and taking in the view. I am going to be someone's wife. (!!!) I eat way less. I do laundry more frequently. I am making progress on a cross stitch project I've had for 12 ish years. I visit my friends in Seattle. I see my family every day. I feel like the piece of me that I had been looking for ( we are talking flipping couch cushions, emptying your purse, retracing your steps level of looking) was finally found, and it was right where I knew I left it all along.

Closing the chapter of DC in my life is/has been/will be strange. Bittersweet, and emotional. Perhaps writing about it will be cathartic, as I still lie in bed some nights in wonder and shock about what I did. But I am proud.

Oh, so proud that I took the step for me. 

But there it is. I don't recognize my life from the one I had just a few measly 10 months ago.

I realized that it took me so long to make this move, because I felt alone. Which sounds crazy. It looks ridiculous when I type it. I have a loving and supportive network of friends and family- but I think it really came down to me being able to express feeling miserable in DC, but beside myself, no one truly knew, or will ever know, just how incredibly painful living there was for me, but me.

In hind sight, being here, I know no one will ever understand. But I also know now that I was never alone. No one could know my exact thoughts- but the people in my life knew what I needed, and helped me get here.

I'm still working on readjusting some things in my life. Perhaps that has been the biggest change of all, learning to see me, and to trust that what I am feeling and thinking is ok and just as perfectly normal as it is going to get. I struggle with hiding behind work still, and putting down roots, and being honest and vulnerable with people, but this biggest change of finally putting myself somewhere were I don't feel like a fish out of water was a huge step in clearing the way for me to address those items and start to focus on them.

So there it is. Almost 365 days of my life wrapped up into a post that probably doesn't do any of it justice.

Did I mention I am ENGAGED?!?! 

Juniper & Ivy

When we were in San Diego we naturally had to make sure that we checked out Juniper & Ivy since I pretty much love Richard Blais (and his hair). Our meal at The Spence  in Atlanta has been so amazing that just the thought of eating some more of Blais' food was mouthwatering-inducing.

Upon arriving the first impression was all about the building and space. It was amazing. Totally my style and felt exactly how I like my upscale, divine eating experiences to feel. Once seated, our first order of business was the wine- which ended up being an excellent selection. We are all about the rosès these days, as they are versatile which is critical when you are eating a meal where you will be doing a lot of sampling.

We usually follow the plan of ordering a lot and sharing it all so we can taste and experience as much of the menu as possible. The menu constantly changes at Juniper & Ivy so I don't have the official names of all of our dishes, but here is what we enjoyed:

 Deviled Eggs- these were so fun! A meringue cup was the "egg" and the filling was beyond delish!

These Oysters. Oh. My. I could live on them. Similar to the ones we had at The Spence, the kimchi cocktail pearls on these were to die for. 

The peaches were a special the night we were there, with a slice of cheese and pesto, they were fresh, clean and full of amazing flavor.

Bone marrow ragu which was good- but we honestly misread the menu a bit and were a tad disappointed based on what we interpreted this as, and what it actually was. Not bad, but we ended up ordering another pasta dish to satisfy our cravings.

The pasta with clams. Show. Stopper. It was so so so good, we almost considered licking the bowl in public.

Pork, onions, and pea puree. This was heaven. I also have to make mention of the plates. Rustic, perfect compliment to the food.

I think this was halibut- whatever it was- it was one amazing piece of fish!

Annnnd dessert. Oh my gawd. Dessert. It was unreal. The Yodel was heavenly (that is that chocolate looking log thing) and that second dessert, oh man oh man. I wish I remembered  exactly what it was, but it was beyond decadent and delightful. 

I am already looking forward to eating there again, and anything that Blais opens, I am sure will be amazing since his food has been nothing short of amazing!

A San Diego Wedding

My friend, sisterwife, sister (ADPi!), a million other things got engage to her lobster and asked me to stand by her side on her wedding day (one of life's most amazing privileges). Her wedding took place on a stunning April in San Diego at the Scripps Seaside Forum and while the weather was stunning, the bride and her groom were a vision.

I shed more than a few tears through the weekend and was so crazy happy for both of them as they started this new chapter of their lives. Abiding by my philosophy that a photographer is hired for a reason on a wedding day, I didn't take too many of my own photos because I want to be emotionally present to soak up all of the love and wonderfulness of the day, but I did capture a few wonderful moments.

We stayed at Hotel La Jolla  and getting to do my half day of work from our balcony was bliss. This clouds were a bit unsettling early in the day, but we all knew it was going to turn out to be a stunning day. 

This stunning view from her reception site was too much to handle. My jaw dropped at the stunning background. 

Getting ready was so much fun! It was relaxed, well organized and was wonderful to get to spend time with the bride before her life changed forever. There were some really sweet touching moments, and I almost cried off all of my makeup when she put on her dress and her sister was helping her. And watching her read the card from her soon-to-be-husband was so touching, and I couldn't help but sniffle a bit as I watched her face read the words her groom had written. 

The blue skies showed up for the wedding as we had all crossed our fingers for, and went the moment came, we were all so excited for her and Eric. 

A funny story included in this:My isle partner was a guy that I knew back from Junior High and High School in Boise. While that is just a small world, to really add to it- he had been a MAJOR crush of mine and so I couldn't help but laugh as I "got to walk down the isle with Ross"! AND, you think I'm done, but I'm not. My first boyfriend, my first KISS, was also at this wedding (not Ross), whom I hadn't seen in almost 10 years- which was a trip. Trying coming outside to find your current boyfriend talking to your first boyfriend/fist kiss. I am still laughing about it. 

The reception and dancing were a blast, and there was a photo booth that captured some really hilarious moments with some of my favorite people and sisters from college. 

All of my humorous moments aside- this day was so special. Sara has been one of the people that had made me understand the true, deep, never-ending meaning of friendship. While we are bonded by our sorority ties and oaths- the relationship I have with her enriches my life beyond descriptive words. Being asked to be a part of her and Eric's wedding was an honor and as I stood and watched them exchange vows and rings, my heart burst with love as am I so incredibly happy she has found someone to share her life with. It was a stunning wedding for a stunning couple who radiate love for each other. And while this is a belated post- Congratulations Sara & Eric!

Breaking a Rule

I broke one of my cardinal rules.

One that I have learned not to break because the rule is there for my self protection more than anything else.

But I went ahead and broke it, and now I've got to deal with the consequences.

What rule did I break?

Life Rule No. 8: (Not sure what 1-7 are, but I am sure I have them)

Thou shall not, evereth thinkith of home before sheith is on the chariot carrying her homeward.

Such a major major major no no, and yet, I didn't pay attention.

Now I am anxious with a side of spontaneous tears that crop up at really inconvenient times. Sigh.

I know better than to think about the comforts of home. The wonderful dinners with family. The beautiful views of Boise. The lack of pee smell when you walk around downtown. The nice people, who don't act like they are better, more important or smarter than you. The families who aren't in a rush, but are just ambling to enjoy the day. The ease of getting around, and comfort of knowing where everything is. The feeling that everything is ok and as it should be.

I can't wait to drink a cup of coffee looking out at the bluest of skies on a sunny morning. Or to eat a slice of pizza from one of my favorite places. Or to just eat dinner with my parents.

But there is reality. Which means I better get a grip or I am going to be leaking tears embarrassingly for far too many days before I get on that plane.

Homesickness. It is the worst.

image via

Luckily, I am not far off from being west bound and being back where I belong for a few days. 

p.s. funny how I never have been "homesick" for DC. Should have listened to myself a long time ago to realize this place would never be more than just a "place" to me.