Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I feel like a write a lot of these posts. And maybe that is a sign. But yesterday was anything but the great Easter I had in mind or remembered as a child. Yes, I know there is a time that the little fledgling needs to fly out of the nest, build their own life and start their own traditions and holiday memories. Sometimes I do this well. I have survived 4 Thanksgivings without my family. Fourth of July I have done just fine. And then BAM---Easter...out of nowhere has me crying big crocodile tears and hiccuping with snot flying all over (too graphic maybe?). I'm not sure what set me off this year. Easter growing up was nothing short of magical like all holidays in my house. My sister and I were just talking last night about how we would wake up to huge Easter baskets set out on the table. Giant stuffed animals (ask me about the bunny that pretty much made my childhood) and Easter dresses with bow socks. That puts some pretty high expectations on a holiday! 

Part of me feels like I am ground to nothing with my life here in DC. I have such a strong pull to pack my bags and just head back so I am not missing out on family moments and memories. And then the stubborn streak in me (hard to imagine huh?) tells me to stay--to stick it through. 

I'm running out of steam here. And I have no idea what the next part/chapter/section/move of my life is supposed to be. I don't feel like I even have a clue. And maybe that is beauty of yesterday. Here I am wondering, looking around me for the answers to these huge parts of my life and the reality is that I need to trust in Him.

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