What I Would Tell Them

I was checking out a recommended blog and found this posted. I am head over heels in love with it. Granted I don't have children, but I know that when I do I will feel like this exactly. I also have to give a shutout to my mom/dad for raising me and helping me write a good story.

This isn't written by Emily from the blog mentioned above, but the link she has posted for the write of this is broken...I wish I could give due credit as I think this is wonderful.

WHAT I WOULD TELL THEM:
(If I knew what to say.)
You are a miracle.
And I have to love you this fiercely: So that you can feel it even after you leave for school, or even while you are asleep, or even after your childhood becomes a memory.
You’ll forget all this when you grow up.
But it’s okay.
Being a mother means having your heart broken.
And it means loving and losing and falling apart and coming back together.
And it’s the best there is.
And also, sometimes, the worst.
Sometimes you won’t have anyone to talk to.
Sometimes you’ll wonder if you’ve forgotten who you are.
But you must remember this: What you’re doing matters.
And you have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.
And nurturing the good in this world is nothing short of a privilege.
That’s why I have to love you this way.
So I can give what I have to you.
So that you can carry it in your body and pass it on.
I have watched you sleep.
I’ve kissed you a million times.
And I know something that you don’t, yet:
You are writing the story of your only life every single minute of every day.
And my greatest hope for you, sweet child, is that I can teach you how to write a good one.

The parts highlighted really pull at my heart. I can't tell you the times I have woken up (and gone to bed) and wonder if I have any idea who I am, or if I have forgotten. The more and more I have these thoughts the more and more I have pushed myself to define what makes me...me. Which also requires me to be brave. It is hard to go out into the world and grow up. If I panic about being on the other side of the country, away from my family, my nephew, my friends, I am sure everyone else feels the effects of that. Which benefits no one involved. "You must remember this: what you are doing matters"are such beautiful words. And while I instantly jumped to relating these to my work, as I sit here pondering these beautiful words I see more now that what I am doing isn't just work, but it is who am I am, day in and day out. How I treat others. How I behave in my relationships. How I represent my family. How I love. How I deal with my emotions. What I do with myself each and every minute. But it all matters. It all is inextricably linked to others, and that is a powerful thing to remember.

I am sure I have no idea the overwhelming sense of love that comes with having a child. I am overwhelmed with the love I have for my nephew, and he isn't even my kid! But I am sure I would tell my kids that no matter what anyone says or does or makes them feel they are always loved and were made to be perfect in their own right. I'd also tell them about how tiny they were, since that seems to boggle my mind. Tiny feet and tiny hands that grow up and do amazing things. What would/do you tell your kids?

I got nuthin'

I am rather uninspired right now but feel like I need to post.

• Bode Sucked. (sorry Bode....I still LOVE you)



• Figure Skating tonight...Olympic highlight



• The Bachelor finale is this coming Monday. I am anxious. If Jake picks Vienna...I am becoming a nun.



• I went to a networking event last night. Surprisingly AWESOME.



• Trader Joe's Mac n' Cheese= Bachelorette Status is now at an all time high



• Three loads of laundry the other night and I STILL have more to go. I am going to go bankrupt just paying to wash my clothes! $3 a load to wash and dry makes me want to do it up college frat guy style and see how many times I can wear one sweatshirt. Not really. But seriously city living really sucks sometimes.



• Outfit yesterday=magic. Multiple compliments and date offers. Fab-U-lous.



• Is it normal to be resentful towards your Blackberry when you want an iPhone, but feel guilty that you want something so frbolous? Like seriously do need to cart the internet around and be disconnected from mankind 24/7? Absolutely. Screw you society for making me feel inferior about my BB (angry fist shake). Pathetic.



• Lindsey Vonn? Men? Really? She is just not-that-hot. Get over the cheek bones, smile, and atheltisism already. Am I proud she won gold? Yes. Do you need to wear a swim suit? No! You are a ski racer! And Lindsey, be a good friend and steal Mancuso's tiara. I understand the rivalary of wanting to be the best, but letting a teammate walk around wearing her junior high homecoming tiara that she probably didn't win, but bought to wear to homecoming anyways to make her feel pretty is just mean. She will thank you later in life Lindsey. Trust me on this one.

Alright and one more gem for you. (Compliments of a guest contributor! Welcome CWF (Coworkerfriend) Sam)

What's Cookin' Good Lookin'

Monday night I made this:

Photo courtesy: MarthaStewart.com

Minus the tomatoes (substitute green beans with garlic). Yes that is right, skirt team in a Balsamic dressing with poltena. I must say my polenta turned out great and the steak...so good!

I found the recipe courtesy of Martha and if you are craving a good red meat dish (I was needing some iron apparently) this is fairly easy and seems kind of hard to really mess up. The only this is when you are reducing your balsamic...brace yourself. The smell is a bit overwhelming, but hang in there because once reduced...it is a savory sauce!



There was also some of this:

photo courtesy of epsion

And then there was this for dessert
Photo courtesy the Daily Scoop


It was quite the meal and makes me wish I could cook more. I think I am intimidated by cooking things that are 1)not baked goods 2) out of a box 3) in my freezer. But honestly usually when I do attempt some sort of cooking effort, this usually go pretty well. Now I just need a bit bigger kitchen. *Le sigh* the day when I own my own place will be so awesome...if even just for the bathroom and kitchen (two of the most important features in a house for me).

I am thinking there will need to be some of these made at some point...maybe if someone throws and opening day party again for the Nats I will bring some of these along:




Photo courtesy of MarthStewart.com

I love soft pretzels so i am sure I would devour these!

Also has anyone made Marshmallows before? This is high on my priority list to make before spring (they seem like a winter thing to make) but some good hot cocoa and some homemade marshmallows just seem like a luxury I would enjoy.

Memory Monday- Pilot

I have been thinking about how I have all these great photos from college and I haven't done anything with them (beside look through them and end up crying from laughing so hard). But I have some fabulous memories from college and my time in the sorority. I also just have some memories that make me smile (not document with photos) but figure I should maybe attempt to document them so when I am old, I'll have them written down somewhere. So here is the pilot for Memory Monday.

The House (sorority) emptied out most weekends since the majority of the girls were from the Seattle area and would spend the weekends at home sleeping in their plush beds and eating home-cooked meals. One weekend it was particularly empty which always presented to result in incredibly boring weekends. But there were like three of us in the house: Myself, Stephanie and Shelly. Somehow we got this great idea to go to Gameworks downtown Seattle and get drinks (nothing better than an arcade that has a bar in it) and play skeeball (one of my all time favorite games- probably like it more the BBHP). A few cocktails later the three of us are bouncing the wooden balls off the cage and generally making a scene. We had a bit of technical difficulty with one of our machines we were playing on and had to get help from one of the guys working the counter where you could turn in your tickets for prizes. What resulted is we flirted our way to like 5 free games which was pretty awesome. The three of us won a ton of tickets (because we pretty much rock at skee ball) and we ended up trading our tickets in for princess wands and these GIANT pens. At chapter the following Monday (I was chapter president at this point) the three of us used our giant pens to take notes during the meeting. I am also pretty sure I took my wand along to...you know...to maintain order in the room when my gavel didn't do the job.

Well needless to say my affection for skee ball never really died (and still lives on...if anyone ever wants to go play!). But for a beach weekend at Carly's beach house we got to play some skee ball at the arcade in Long Beach. Naturally we all won some amazing prizes. I took home a glittered flower hair scrunchy. But Stephanie took home the best of all: a flute/recorder-esque musical instrument. Many a dances were choreographed to Stephanie's masterful musical talents and I think we were all a bit disappointed when she didn't perform her song for Phil at their wedding (it was quite the gem).

Does anyone else remember any details from skee ball (gameworks and long beach?) all I remember is laughing until my sides hurt both times!

Rocking skee ball at Long Beach

Stephanie starting to perfect her love ballad for Phil.

Musica

I finally dug my car out of its cocoon of snow that it has been in since SNOWMG/Snowmagedon/Snowpocalypse/etc/etc (lets just say I am sure I looked like a hot mess in my pink uggs and my tiny little snow scraper trying to remove almost a foot of snow off my car) so I could drive out to Old Town and have a lovely brunch with Dave, Kym and Felix. I really love to drive (except cross country when you have deadlines and can hear the roar of your blown out wheel bearings) and I especially like to drive, listen to music, and roll down the windows. Today was so beautiful out and so after getting to talk with Dave and Kym for awhile and watch Felix play I ran some errands in Old Town where I just got to drive for a bit and rock out. I am a huge fan of T-Swift these days (Oh how I miss my Idaho country music stations) but I am also enjoying the new song called "Breakeven" by The Script. It isn't anything profound, but I enjoy it.

As for Taylor I know all her songs are based off real guys and her whole reflection of "growing up" which is pretty cool. ps...can I say I would do ANYTHING for her luscious blond wavy locks of hair. So beautiful!

Anyways I was in a phase where I was listening to "White Horse" on repeat for an hour on end and I found what T-Swift herself said about the song on wikipedia:

"To me, “White Horse” is about what, in my opinion, is the most heart-breaking part of a break-up – that moment when you realize that all the dreams you had, all those visions you had of being with this person, all that disappears. Everything after that moment is moving on.. But that initial moment of "Wow, it's over" is what I wrote "White Horse" about."

Good stuff. Anyways, if you haven' t heard "Breakeven" yet (and you are a female...) you really should check it out.

Gimmie Gimmie

Miss. B Smith over at MansionMogul sent me a link for this FAB-U-LOUS necklace made by truche:

I can't say how much I love love love love love love love love love this necklace! Truche will place the heart over whatever city you want too which makes it even more special!

Truche has a great store on etsy and I suggest you go check out her other states that she makes (if I had the money I would order one of Washington and Idaho!) and she also will do anything on request if she hasn't already made it! Her non-state/country pieces are beautiful as well and would make great gifts for friends and family!

As for me I am putting this gem (nice Idaho pun huh?) on my wishlist and am going to start thinking of an occasion that I can treat myself to it! Nothing like being able to wear something to show where my heart is!!

MIA

Yes yes I have been pretty much MIA this week.





1) I have been exhausted. Like crawl into bed and wake up in the same position exhausted.





2) Really swamped at work so (no offense to my readers) the last thing I have had a desire to do is come home and get on the computer again and write a post.





3) The Olympics are keeping my little spare time occupied.





I really don't have a lot going on right now. Like I said work has me pretty busy. And by busy I mean really busy. Which is good. And bad. And stressful. And fun.

Some news I do have is I finally attempted eggs benedict for myself on Valentine's day. Nothing like making one of my favorite foods and having it turn out fairly decent. There was a bit too much lemon used in my sauce, but overall I pulled it off nicely. Gold stars for me! I definitely suffer from the syndrome where if you cook/bake something it is no longer appetizing, so I am trying to overcome that.

My stomach is now rumbling for a fried egg.

Well back to work...yes...I am still at work...it is 7:52pm...gross.

Bode....I Love You

Bode Miller won Bronze!! Don't ask me why I am so drawn to this particular Olympian. Perhaps his dashing rugged good looks? His F you attitude? His all out attack on the hill? Whatever it is...I am so excited for his Bronze metal. Only off from gold by .09 I think it is fair to say he had a run of a lifetime! GO BODE!!

Photo courtesy of BBC

Keys to My Heart

As most of you have heard/seen by now, I am in love with keys. I found these cupcakes the other day on the Knot. They are darling!

Has anyone else seen any fabulous key references lately?

Bachelor Update

I polished off my glorious day of doing absolutely-fabulously-nothing (sometimes I just need days where I don't get dressed, or leave the apartment and just watch TV and cat nap) with watching the Bachelor. Now I was very disappointed that Ally left for job (seriously Ally...you traded true love for a JOB! I don't really feel bad for her after seeing what a stupid mistake she made!) but I am very relieved that Tenly is still going strong with Jake. Lord knows how, but Vienna is still around...she 1) looks like she is 13, 2) is SO fake 3) needs better hair. But I didn't want to really give a full on synopsis of the episode but rather discuss the notion of these women linking "Love" with marriage. Every season they all get so uptight that saying "I Love You" means they are ready for marriage and essentially merge the two concepts so that love=marriage. Maybe I am wrong here, but I am almost certain you can love someone and be no where near a point where marriage is a good idea or in the foreseeable future. I just wish they wouldn't be so caught up in the fact that they are in love with Jake. (I mean can we really think that people fall in love on a TV show...I mean maybe but that isn't the point) the point is...if you love the guy...say it! Sigh...maybe this is just post-valentines day mullings, but ugh...my message to the women on the Bachelor...SEPARATE THE IDEAS!!

nightly ramblings....enjoy.

Olympic Medals

On Friday I had people over to my apartment to watch the opening ceremonies. (It was the first time I had had a group of people over to my new apartment). It was one of the most memorable opening ceremonies I have ever experienced. Total I had 7 people come which was about as much as my apartment could hold and I served up some home made chili, cornbread, chips and dip, artichoke spinach dip, brie and bread, home made ranch dip and veggie platter and Olympic ring cupcakes. I was pretty proud, as I didn't get stressed out, ruin anything, spill (except wine of myself), or burn anything. I actually had a wonderful evening and am so blessed to have such a great set of friends that make me laugh!

Brooke and I wore our metalic skirts in honor of "Going for Gold"

In short it was a very politically incorrect opening ceremonies viewing party but so much fun! I must say I am loving the Canada mittens with the maple leaf on them. I want my own pair in brown with the state of Idaho on them! I am very "Smitten with the Mittens"

photo courtesy of: Kurrs

I also got kind of curious about past Olympic medal designs. I must say the winter Olympic medals are SO much cooler. This website shows images of all the medals from Olympics past. I really like the Torino and Sapporo medals.

Vancouver's are really cool with the wave in the metal, but the print design on the front isn't my favorite.

The designs are definitely improving over time. I mean I guess I wouldn't complain if I had ANY Olympic medal, so I should be too critical. But my vote is in and so far Torino has my vote!

I Love You, Today, Tomorrow and Everyday

Happy Valentine's day everyone! I hope you all are having enjoyable days celebrating love with all the loves of your lives!

One of my favorite v-day traditions I used to have was going out to dinner and exchanging gifts with Carly. Our dates were so much fun and I will always treasure the "breakfast in bed" cd I was given a few years ago (yes it is really called breakfast in bed). While I am not with you today Carly I am still thinking about you and how much I loved our tradition!

Too all my friends and family: I love you all so much and know I am truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. While today is about proclaiming love I also want to say I will love you today, tomorrow and everyday!

(ps Nicole the dress you talked me in to buying when we went shopping over Christmas with the navy and green stripes is so darling and it was perfect to save for today! Also tell Wyatt how much I love him!!)

Theme/Question of the Day.

What am I doing with my life?

I am sure I am just 1/4 life crisising for like the 9 millionth time, but honestly I wonder.

And naturally that dark cloud of doubt that I made the right choice 4 years ago to switch my major to business was indeed the right choice. Or did I take the easy road?

Damn you doubt. Damn me for giving into the doubt.

Are we all supposed to feel fulfilled by our careers? I can't imagine that we are supposed to feel drained by them, but what if you never figure out exactly what you are supposed to do when you "grow up". How does one figure that out? I know what things I find attracting about a career and what interest me, but I have no idea what that looks like when you combine them all, and/or if there is even a job like what I envision when I mix all that together.

Long story short. I totally bummed myself out today and just kind of feel like I am floundering as far as a "career" goes. Time to start relinquishing some of that control I guess. Let's hope/pray for some clarity.

I am, I was, I want to be

So I found my pi drop necklace 3 years later tonight!! I am honestly so happy and relieved. It represents something pretty big in my life and I was broken hearted when I "lost" it. Tonight it randomly showed up and it also spurred me to write a post off the "fireside" game we used to do as a quick sisterhood during Spirit Week. I am sure many of you remember the "I am, I was, I want to be..." game. Here it is tonight and I expect to hear your answers!!!

I am... thinking about the ones I love and have the lyrics "How Beautiful My Life Has Been" rolling through my head.


I was...very upset I had to go to work today when 99% of the population in DC got to have a day to enjoy the snow!

I want to be...in the short-term, enthusiastic about having to work again tomorrow and in the long-term a better communicator!

Alright people...time for some warm "fireside" from a distance warm fuzzies! Don't make me play the "tap someone you think has a beautiful smile game"


PI LOVE!

Miss Mary Jane

While purusing the Idahostatesman staying current on my Idaho news I came across some columns from Miss Mary Jane. A few in particular I really enjoyed. One being: Things to Think About when Considering a New Man in Your Life. (Yes naturally this would catch my eye). This is what MMJ says (with some of my comments):

No Thank You:
• Men who weigh less than you or who have smaller feet
I like to be the cute little one...I will have no problem following this.
• Men who can’t dance (can be overlooked if they at least hold you close and sway to the music)
I don't care if they can dance, but I care if they refuse to dance.
• Men with a sense of entitlement
So like every guy in DC is ruled out by this one. Awesome.
• Philanderers who make no attempt to hide their infidelity .
Enough said.
• Pretentious playboys
Again, enough said.
• Men who take longer getting ready to go out than you do
Looking nice is one thing but if you are taking longer than me, it better because you are proposing that night.
Yes Please:
• Men with keen minds (who aren’t intimidated by yours)
Definetly a yes, but also in the No category are men who think where they went to school and what they studied is all that matters in life. I am all about life experience.
• Men with a fabulous sense of humor (and not at the expense of others)
Can't be without this. Especially since to get to my serious side you have to laugh me there.
• Enthusiastic flatterers
I have a hard time accepting a compliment but I always like to hear them!
• Men who know how to wield a soup spoon (scoop outward)
Basically have some manners, open doors, get the car door for me, clean up your dishes, say Thank You, carry a girls bag, help a girl with her coat, and never give orders.
• Men who like your children
Let's substitute Poodle for Children. If the dog doesn't like you (or the nephew) you are out.
• Men who know quality (i.e., you) when they see it.
The guy who figures this out will be handsomly rewarded.

This is another one of her writings that I enjoyed reading.

Snowpocalypse 2010 Weekend

Snowpocalypse was/is amazing! The streets are covered, you have to wade through the snow to get to the street to walk places, people are cross country skiing in the streets, and wearing ridiculous and "excessive" outfits to battle the elements.

On Friday I left the office a bit early to head to the store where I was able to secure enough snow so that if in fact we did all "die" from the snow, I would have something to feed myself with. The line at the grocery store to check out extended all the way down the isles to the back of the store and took about an hour to get through. It just started sticking when I left the grocery store so I was glad to be hunkering into my apartment for the evening. I finished up some work for the weekend and then was invited to partake in a delish meal that my RM prepared. Lamb. Yum. Potatoes. Double Yum. Spinach. Delish. Cheese and honey dipping sauce. Devine. We had a great evening sharing a bottle of wine, dinner and then celebrating world Nutella day by eating some slices of bread lathered in Nutella.

Saturday I woke up to the blanket of snow and an amazing display of snow on our clothes line that is outside my bedroom window. I met some friend for Brunch/Lunch and then spent the afternoon lounging, having a beer and staying warm. Did some baking last night and then snuggled in for a blissful sleep!

Today I have finished watching the entire 1st and only season of cashmere mafia (another SATC knock off that never did very well) and am preparing to make some valentines, and watch me some football! I have a feeling I will have to go into work tomorrow so it will probably be a pretty tame SB for me (Sadly no sunglasses, inappropriate displays of double fisting arbor mist, and then showing true Presidential Greatness). But let's keep our fingers crossed that somehow the roads will get even worse and my office will be closed (I am in desperate need of a mental health day).

Hope all who are in DC that you are snuggled in a cozy warm and everyone else I hope you enjoy a fabulous SuperBowl Sunday!

Just for Me

I have many layers.

Snow Snow Snow

The world gets so quiet when it snows. I have the lights off in my room a few candle flickering, good music and am cuddled with the bears. The view out my window is stunningly beautiful. Snow makes me so happy and nostalgic all at the same time. There might not be any way to describe it, but being out in the middle of Idaho and having the snow drift down around you, with big lumbering pine trees catching flakes, I swear you can hear the heart beat of the person standing next to you. I really don't think there is anyway to describe how beautiful unless you were there, but it is peaceful (hence why I am trying to create my 'zen' like room tonight!) . I am really praying for a snow day tomorrow. I haven't been in DC when it has dumped snow yet, so I am hoping I will go to sleep, wake up tomorrow, frost on my windows and inches and inches of snow!

I am exhausted so I am signing off and headed to bed. Night all!

Book Club

This one is pretty simple. I want to join a book club very badly. If anyone knows of one in the DC area...let me know! I will bring cupcakes and my whitty-intelligent-self to discuss the deeper meanings of life through literary works.

k. Thanks.